To be honest I've been a little overwhelmed lately with all the things going on. Family, work, training, blog, tournament, competing, t-shirts, posters, logos, patches, new gym and more training, hehe. And while I take most things in my life seriously and want to do the best of my ability, not everything can be given equal attention. I'm not much of a multi-tasker so things get done one thing at a time. With all of this on my mind, I look forward to training to relieve me of all that stresses me. But sometimes I turn what should be a stress-release into another chore, taking away the fun from training and learning. In my pursuit of wanting to get better, improve upon my mistakes from the last comp and just all around kick-ass, I get worse, haha. Whether I realize it at the time or not, I've been told from time to time that I don't look like I'm having much fun and that's a sad thing to hear. Perhaps I need a break or make time to get the other things in my life settled (work work work) so that come 6:30pm, it's on.
Whenever someone asks me why I train jiu-jitsu with all the injuries I've taken and the substantial amount of time I give to it week after week, my answer is always, "Cause it's fun." I love the challenge that it gives me, the challenge I get to impose on others, the friendships I've made and the journey of discovery and expression. Of any activity that I've chosen for myself, I would have to say this is probably the most positive and rewarding. So when this truly positive thing in my life becomes sour, it's probably a sign that I need to relax and get back to that place where I can have fun again.
I recently was listening to some older interviews on the fightworks podcast, particularly with Fabio Santos. And in this interview he talks about his daily life and what he does for himself so that it doesn't all come down on him. And while it's not a huge stretch from the jiu-jitsu lifestyle that we sometimes see on the DVDs, Fabio surfs to clear his mind and take a break from the gym. I'm sure without this other interest, teaching and training jiu-jitsu can be just as daunting and exhausting as your desk-job. 20+ years of teaching jiu-jitsu, you're definitely going to have your good and bad days. In another interview Rodrigo Medeiros shares a similar sentiment on jiu-jitsu as a living. It's a job, and there are responsibilities and challenges like any business. Just because it's something you love doesn't mean it's going to be great all the time or even work out unless you have the determination, discipline and ability to do it for the long haul.
I believe that in time, I will become a black-belt, it's just a matter of not giving up and and even then I'm sure it will be a new challenge of learning and discovery. What I don't want to do is to keep myself from enjoying the journey. I'm sure this is just a small bump in the many to come and nothing special as we've all got our challenges on and off the mat.